Porn Sex

Archive | May, 2007

How To Pick Up A Hooker

Posted on 27 May 2007 by Ozzy

Many guys are curious about how to pick up a hooker (you know, sex that you pay for), but the problem lies in where to begin.

Sure, it’s easy enough to find a whore if you’re visiting a city like Las Vegas, where you can easily meet one or find a number within the proximity of 50 feet. But what if you’re trying to get laid in your local small town? In that case, there would not be a red light district where you can drive through and find hookers on the street corners at all times of the day. Much less, you would have a hard time of asking around with the local people because a) they would think you’re a fucking weird guy and b) everyone else is just as clueless as you are.

I try not to pay for sex, but it does happen when I’m not in the mood for prowling the night to pick up girls. It’s a sure-fire and easy way to get laid. And the sex can be better because you’re paying for what you get. I don’t feel bad when I ask a hooker to turn around so I can shove my cock into her ass, because I’ll just give her an extra $40 for it afterward. Same thing goes for deep-throating. You’re lucky if you can pick up a girl at the club who’s willing to gag on your cock. But if you want to do it like they do in the porn movies, getting a hooker to do it is your best bet.

The secret is that there are hookers everywhere no matter where you go. You could be in a large city like Houston, Texas or a small no-name hillbilly village, but by using the following skills you can find a way to get laid using the cash in your pocket.

Let’s clear up some initial misunderstandings, though. Naturally, when you think of hooker you also think of pimp. But that only happens in the large playing fields where there are obviously designated red light districts. Many hookers operate on their own within the secrecy of the area between their legs. And this is good news for us guys because it also means cheaper fees and healthier, disease-free women.

So I’ll give you 2 easy ways to get laid for money.

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Better Place To Score Horny Women Than A Club Or Bar

Better Place To Score Horny Women Than A Club Or Bar

Posted on 24 May 2007 by Ozzy

Most guys, including many of my friends, go out to the clubs or the bars to pick up women. Too bad that girls at the club are there to dance and you have to talented as shit to bring one home. (Most guys make the mistake of going on the dance floor at the club. Let me tell you that this might be a hot place to cop feels, but not likely to score their numbers.) And the bar is just a shitty place because it’s loud and smelly as shit. So now you have a feel of my personal distaste for barbaric public gatherings. I’ll do it if I have to, and I have more than a fabulous track record if you want to test me.

But let me tell you the best yet most unexpected place to pick up the most gorgeous and horny women. Here, all the women have fantastic bodies in shape for amazing suma katra sex, literally. Next, they just breathe orgasm and the look of their eyes just say “Fuck me, please.” No, I am not describing the perfect heaven. I am talking about the yoga classes at your local gym.

I know, you’re thinking, “Why the fuck would I go to a yoga class? That’s the most homo thing I’ve heard.” And that’s another reason why you should go. There is absolutely no competition, except for maybe the fag male yoga instructor. And you know he won’t complain if you’re hanging out.

katie yoga Better Place To Score Horny Women Than A Club Or Bar

But this takes dedication and commitment, guys. You have to sign up for these yoga classes and actually go to them. And participate too, of course. You don’t want to seem like a loser, because then you’re not getting any pooey at all.

You gotta take my word for this, but the way you score in this yoga class environment is by talking. Seem like an interesting guy. You don’t have to be funny, but make humorous jokes. Don’t show initial attraction to all the beautiful women around you, but poke fun at them while not seeming like an asshole. How do you do that? Smile a lot and express yourself freely.

Do this for 3 days, and if you hit the right chords, you will get personal with the women and will score their number and eventually spread their stretchy legs.

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Drunk Party Sex Videos Are Fake

Drunk Party Sex Videos Are Fake

Posted on 23 May 2007 by Ozzy

You’re probably familiar with amateur videos of drunk college kids having sex at parties. They’re all over P2P networks and video sharing websites. Well, you’re going to hear something shocking right now. The people you see in those video are none of the following:

  • drunk
  • amateur
  • college students
  • don’t know what the hell’s going on

Surprised? I knew you would be. This is part of the adult industry’s new marketing strategy towards the new reality market. Glamorous porn stars are becoming less popular as guys look for more “real” porn that they can relate to. Examples of reality porn are MILF Hunter, Couples Seduce Teens and I Fucked My College Producer.

party 052207 Drunk Party Sex Videos Are Fake

The psychology of this reality porn phenomenon can be explained in this way. The American culture is trying to keep in sync with their normal lifestyle of watching shows like Survivor and Beauty and the Geek. They satisfy this desire by watching porn filmed with actors that look and act just like them — the average Joe. It would only make sense to synchronize this way, or else our emotional intelligence would fall through the roof like a 5-ton truck.

I filmed a fake “college girl having sex” scene yesterday night. It was like fucking 2AM when our film crew got out in the field, and by the time I got back into my apartment it was 7AM. Obviously, I was tired as shit this morning when I woke up.

Watch an abridged version of the college drunk party scene.

I can’t disclose any names on here, but the guy and the girl in this clip are both professional porn stars. Doesn’t seem like it, right? They work for a studio where they usually do 1-on-1 hardcore action films. Well, appearances can be deceiving under the strategic lighting and composition within a movie studio.

We really did get the 2 porn stars kind of twisted with a couple of shots of Bacardi 151, so that the girl didn’t have to try too hard to make it seem like she was fucked up. I love these field shootings because we scope out real parties and set up our cameras. All these drunk college shits love to crowd around and watch a porn film in the making.

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How To Pick Up MILFs (At The Mall)

How To Pick Up MILFs (At The Mall)

Posted on 22 May 2007 by Ozzy

I was on a mission to score some numbers as I drove my banana-yellow Camry to the city mall. I wrote about scoring some high school chicks the week before, but this time I wanted some hot mamas. Literally so.

Personally, I grew up around the MILF Hunter. A normal boy’s hero throughout this puberty may have been the blonde chick in Kill Bill or the hardcore gangsta-rapper 50 Cent. But I subscribed the the MILF Hunter website the day that I discovered it in the privacy of my bedroom. And damn, was it good.

A new mom fucked every week. If I got lucky, the MILF Hunter posted 3 movie series that week. My personal favorite was the red-haired Eastern European MILF name Katya that he fucked in 2002. I have her video saved on my Desktop and I view it religiously almost every week. I can still masturbate to it even after 4 years.

So I entered the mall and I began to innocently prowl the length and width of the complex. I usually take about 10 minutes to scope out the degree of female hotness that day. Today it was above average. I don’t know why, but a lot of moms come to the mall by themselves on Tuesday afternoons.

While I was pondering this, I saw a blonde woman turn the corner. Her dirty blonde hair was tied up in a twisty bun, while her sexually tanned upper body was draped in a black sleeveless shirt. This MILF’s main selling point was the enormous ratio between her perfectly bulbous breasts and her tiny waist. But then around her, her 2 boys were playing with some Pokemon-looking shits (who knows?).

In the history of my game, I’ve scored numbers with only 2 moms with their kids present. And that was lucky as shit. So I was nervous but equally excited by the challenge.

Let me get cut straight to the chase and say that I ended up f-closing this girl. That means hardcore fucking for you. Unbelievable? You might think so, you Average Frustrated Chump.

lauren 052207 How To Pick Up MILFs (At The Mall)

Let me outline the steps to MILF hunting success (this method was stolen from the real MILF Hunter).

  1. Approach the woman, but don’t give any signs of attraction. Aged women know all the tricks. So innocently ask her a question such as, “I’m looking for a gift for my niece and I have no clue of what girls her age like, could you offer some advice for a frustrated uncle?”
  2. After the ice is broken, start commenting on how great she looks. If this MILF is hot, you know she’s getting these comments all the time. So stay nonchalant while throwing out your comments. Don’t even try to allude to her age because she will most likely end the conversation right there. If she brings up her age, of course say that she looks fucking gorgeous.
  3. Ask her what she’s doing that day. Eventually give her flashing signs that you want to have sex with her.
  4. Tailgate her car to her home and let her drop off the kids.
  5. Take her to your place or motel and let the fun begin.
  6. Note: This is a good time to attempt anal sex. MILFs are fucking crazy and they’re hornier than you think.

I hope this will inspire you guys to experience a MILF of your own. Enjoy.

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Kayla Paige Interview: Ultimate Copycat

Posted on 22 May 2007 by Ozzy

The other day I asked Miss Kayla Paige, “What kind of image do you want to give off in this industry?” “I’m looking for innocence but at the same time I want my fans to know the naughty side of me,” Kayla replied. “I try many unique shoots, probably in costumes and settings you’ve never seen before. What’s the point of being a porn star if you’re going to copy off of everyone else, you know?

“I know from experience,” Miss Paige said, “my husband watches a lot of porn, and it’s always the same blonde-haired middle-aged girl licking her silicone boobs and sticking her acrylic nails up her crotch. Even though I’m white, I want to appear exotic but classy at the same time.” Kayla Paige currently is modeling for Danni.com, the homegrown company of the original internet porn star Danni Ashe. Read more about Kayla and see her photo sets on her bio page.

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11 Reasons Why Incest Is In Our Genes

Posted on 22 May 2007 by Ozzy

You sick bastards have sexual fantasies about your daughters. Don’t even lie. Father-daughter sex is a taboo subject that no one talks about but is pervasive everywhere. And we thought only American hickish rednecks were into incest. You think your daughter is sexy? Is that why get so pissed off when you see young Tom sticking his fingers up your daughter’s cunt in the car when he’s dropping her off? You fantasize about her and have wet dreams about your 21-year-old hot Jamie sucking on your cock, all while moaning “Daddy, am I doing this right?” Don’t believe me? Take a look at all the porn sites that advertise this theme of daughters going wild on their daddies.

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Religious Irony in Porn

Posted on 22 May 2007 by Ozzy

Isn’t it ironic that a girl would wear a cross necklace in a porn film? What could it possibly mean?

  • She’s trying to convince me that she is an innocent girl who doesn’t know any better.
  • The slut is mocking religion, just as Caravaggio regularly used prostitutes as models for Mother Mary.
  • The necklace has no religious significance. Someone gave it to her as a gift, and it’s the only necklace she owns.
  • The taboo connection between pornography and Christianity adds to the quality of smut, if such a thing is possible.

Anyhow, let’s not get caught up with the necklace too much. Whatever her subliminal intentions may be, she sure knows how to creatively suck cock for half an hour. She even gives us some deep-throat action.

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Supertanga Susy Interview

Posted on 22 May 2007 by Ozzy

I had the honor of interviewing Susy, whose photo is currently featured on www.supertangas.com. Her recent photo is a self-taken mirror shot showing her body profile wearing black bras and a thong. “My camera isn’t that good–a Sony Powershot that I bought about 3 years ago–so the picture came out kind of blurry,” Susy said. If Susy hadn’t told me that, I would have thought she intentionally blurred it to keep her face anonymous. Girls on Supertangas usually hide their faces by cropping the photos at their necks or wearing sunglasses to cover up. Although they are extremely sexy, they would still like to protect their social reputations. There is a skanky denotation when you upload half naked photos of yourself on the internet. “You wouldn’t want your boyfriend, husband or family members to discover it and gasp, ‘You whore!’” Susy commented. Susy has an amazing body. That’s for sure. A size 0 waist supplemented by a disproportionately large bubble butt. But it looks good on her. Perfectly round fruits on both her chest and hips. However, because her face is blurred, we cannot say much about the beauty of her face. Still, I’m sure that Susy has a pretty face to complement her astonishing Argentinian physique. I asked Susy, “What are the girls like in Argentina? If they’re all fine like you I must take a trip down there.” “I wouldn’t say I’m exceptionally great looking. My body is just average here in Argentina. “So you can see that you’ll find a lot of sexy girls if you visit,” Susy humorously replied. Susy is a graduate student at Universidad de Buenos Aires in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She is studying psychology and will become a divorce counselor when she earns her master’s degree.

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Georgia Tech Teen Porn

Posted on 22 May 2007 by Ozzy

We like threesome action when the two girls are both equally sexy. If one girl is substantially better looking than the other one, the uglier one appears as a guy in your spoiled eyes. Also, the guy should be as unobtrusive as possible. If the camera focuses on the guy too much it becomes gay. And we wouldn’t want that, would we? The Couples Seduce Teens series always sets the mood with the two girls sticking their tongues in each others. You guessed it. They tongue each other in every hole. Have a taste of the sweet lips as well as the juicy cunt. They heat up each other’s oven so that the roast beef can go in. These scenes feature an older woman (young enough to possess tight pussy yet old enough to be a MILF) and a teenage girl. The producers for Couples Seduce Teens said to me, “It’s not that hard finding girls. We just go around college campuses and there are so many girls who want easy money that we actually have to reject a lot of them.” The older couple is supposed to “seduce” the teen. But it doesn’t look like much seducing to me. The teen is just as horny and willing as the gruffy biker dude who wants to stick his purple gorging penis into her teenage pussy. For this gallery, a black-haired college teen from Georgia Tech is the victim. The sexy brunette teen’s name is Lindsay and she’s an Information Science major. “After I graduate this semester I’m starting as an assistant librarian at the University of Virginia,” Lindsay said. When Lindsay arrives on that campus the male attendance at the library will surely triple within the first week. Lindsay’s partner for this shoot is a blonde-haired woman who has a close resemblance to Will Ferrell. That’s not too attractive, but she has ostrich egg-sized jugs to make up for her masculine face. The tattooed biker fag joins the orgy at one point once the girls get wet enough. Just imagine if you had two girls sitting on their knees by your side taking turns gagging on your cock? That’s what happens on Couples Seduce Teens. The guy gets the preferential treatment and has two girls at his command. But technically, it’s not couples seducing teens; rather, it’s the wife who seduces the teen and brings her to her master husband. Enjoy this spanking new gallery from Couples Seduce Teens, and if you like it don’t hesitate to support their work and sign up to become a member. Adios.

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Why We Love Threesomes

Posted on 22 May 2007 by Ozzy

I’ve been neglectful with the hardcore content for a while. I realized that a guy needs some fucking action every once in a while, and I’ve been filling the pages with too much pussyfutting and no humping action. Beautiful women are great, but the best is when you see her receive some raw loving from a sixteen-inch cock. I really love the Couples Seduce Teens site, because it consistently puts out thematic threesome action with two hot girls and a guy who could be me. It’s called vicarious role playing. I like to imagine that I am the one fucking the two women. And it is possible with Gonzo action shots like this one. Bang for the bang, you know, one on top of the other. Kill two birds with one stone. Two tongues on a cock — double whammy blowjob. I just love it. The newest Couples Seduce Teens episode features a black-haired white girl (obviously dyed and a very slutty feature) who is speechless when the MILF grabs her boobs. Molestation? Rape? No, but it is initial force leading to mutual consent in great sex, and that is what surprise gangbanging is all about. In the end everyone enjoys it and leaves the bed with refreshed minds and happy memories. You have to see it to believe it, but this guy gets the best of both worlds: young fresh pussy AND experienced fucking blowjob action from a MILF.

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