I was on a mission to score some numbers as I drove my banana-yellow Camry to the city mall. I wrote about scoring some high school chicks the week before, but this time I wanted some hot mamas. Literally so.

Personally, I grew up around the MILF Hunter. A normal boy’s hero throughout this puberty may have been the blonde chick in Kill Bill or the hardcore gangsta-rapper 50 Cent. But I subscribed the the MILF Hunter website the day that I discovered it in the privacy of my bedroom. And damn, was it good.

A new mom fucked every week. If I got lucky, the MILF Hunter posted 3 movie series that week. My personal favorite was the red-haired Eastern European MILF name Katya that he fucked in 2002. I have her video saved on my Desktop and I view it religiously almost every week. I can still masturbate to it even after 4 years.

So I entered the mall and I began to innocently prowl the length and width of the complex. I usually take about 10 minutes to scope out the degree of female hotness that day. Today it was above average. I don’t know why, but a lot of moms come to the mall by themselves on Tuesday afternoons.

While I was pondering this, I saw a blonde woman turn the corner. Her dirty blonde hair was tied up in a twisty bun, while her sexually tanned upper body was draped in a black sleeveless shirt. This MILF’s main selling point was the enormous ratio between her perfectly bulbous breasts and her tiny waist. But then around her, her 2 boys were playing with some Pokemon-looking shits (who knows?).

In the history of my game, I’ve scored numbers with only 2 moms with their kids present. And that was lucky as shit. So I was nervous but equally excited by the challenge.

Let me get cut straight to the chase and say that I ended up f-closing this girl. That means hardcore fucking for you. Unbelievable? You might think so, you Average Frustrated Chump.

Let me outline the steps to MILF hunting success (this method was stolen from the real MILF Hunter).

1. Approach the woman, but don’t give any signs of attraction. Aged women know all the tricks. So innocently ask her a question such as, “I’m looking for a gift for my niece and I have no clue of what girls her age like, could you offer some advice for a frustrated uncle?”
2. After the ice is broken, start commenting on how great she looks. If this MILF is hot, you know she’s getting these comments all the time. So stay nonchalant while throwing out your comments. Don’t even try to allude to her age because she will most likely end the conversation right there. If she brings up her age, of course say that she looks fucking gorgeous.
3. Ask her what she’s doing that day. Eventually give her flashing signs that you want to have sex with her.
4. Tailgate her car to her home and let her drop off the kids.
5. Take her to your place or motel and let the fun begin.
6. Note: This is a good time to attempt anal sex. MILFs are fucking crazy and they’re hornier than you think.

I hope this will inspire you guys to experience a MILF of your own. Enjoy.