I was on a mission to score some numbers as I drove my banana-yellow Camry to the city mall. I wrote about scoring some high school chicks the week before, but this time I wanted some hot mamas. Literally so.

Personally, I grew up around the MILF Hunter. A normal boy’s hero throughout this puberty may have been the blonde chick in Kill Bill or the hardcore gangsta-rapper 50 Cent. But I subscribed the the MILF Hunter website the day that I discovered it in the privacy of my bedroom. And damn, was it good.

A new mom fucked every week. If I got lucky, the MILF Hunter posted 3 movie series that week. My personal favorite was the red-haired Eastern European MILF name Katya that he fucked in 2002. I have her video saved on my Desktop and I view it religiously almost every week. I can still masturbate to it even after 4 years.

So I entered the mall and I began to innocently prowl the length and width of the complex. I usually take about 10 minutes to scope out the degree of female hotness that day. Today it was above average. I don’t know why, but a lot of moms come to the mall by themselves on Tuesday afternoons.

While I was pondering this, I saw a blonde woman turn the corner. Her dirty blonde hair was tied up in a twisty bun, while her sexually tanned upper body was draped in a black sleeveless shirt. This MILF’s main selling point was the enormous ratio between her perfectly bulbous breasts and her tiny waist. But then around her, her 2 boys were playing with some Pokemon-looking shits (who knows?).

In the history of my game, I’ve scored numbers with only 2 moms with their kids present. And that was lucky as shit. So I was nervous but equally excited by the challenge.

Let me get cut straight to the chase and say that I ended up f-closing this girl. That means hardcore fucking for you. Unbelievable? You might think so, you Average Frustrated Chump.

Let me outline the steps to MILF hunting success (this method was stolen from the real MILF Hunter).

1. Approach the woman, but don’t give any signs of attraction. Aged women know all the tricks. So innocently ask her a question such as, “I’m looking for a gift for my niece and I have no clue of what girls her age like, could you offer some advice for a frustrated uncle?”
2. After the ice is broken, start commenting on how great she looks. If this MILF is hot, you know she’s getting these comments all the time. So stay nonchalant while throwing out your comments. Don’t even try to allude to her age because she will most likely end the conversation right there. If she brings up her age, of course say that she looks fucking gorgeous.
3. Ask her what she’s doing that day. Eventually give her flashing signs that you want to have sex with her.
4. Tailgate her car to her home and let her drop off the kids.
5. Take her to your place or motel and let the fun begin.
6. Note: This is a good time to attempt anal sex. MILFs are fucking crazy and they’re hornier than you think.

I hope this will inspire you guys to experience a MILF of your own. Enjoy.

The other day I asked Miss Kayla Paige, “What kind of image do you want to give off in this industry?” “I’m looking for innocence but at the same time I want my fans to know the naughty side of me,” Kayla replied. “I try many unique shoots, probably in costumes and settings you’ve never seen before. What’s the point of being a porn star if you’re going to copy off of everyone else, you know?

“I know from experience,” Miss Paige said, “my husband watches a lot of porn, and it’s always the same blonde-haired middle-aged girl licking her silicone boobs and sticking her acrylic nails up her crotch. Even though I’m white, I want to appear exotic but classy at the same time.” Kayla Paige currently is modeling for Danni.com, the homegrown company of the original internet porn star Danni Ashe. Read more about Kayla and see her photo sets on her bio page.

You sick bastards have sexual fantasies about your daughters. Don’t even lie. Father-daughter sex is a taboo subject that no one talks about but is pervasive everywhere. And we thought only American hickish rednecks were into incest. You think your daughter is sexy? Is that why get so pissed off when you see young Tom sticking his fingers up your daughter’s cunt in the car when he’s dropping her off? You fantasize about her and have wet dreams about your 21-year-old hot Jamie sucking on your cock, all while moaning “Daddy, am I doing this right?” Don’t believe me? Take a look at all the porn sites that advertise this theme of daughters going wild on their daddies.

Isn’t it ironic that a girl would wear a cross necklace in a porn film? What could it possibly mean?

• She’s trying to convince me that she is an innocent girl who doesn’t know any better.
• The slut is mocking religion, just as Caravaggio regularly used prostitutes as models for Mother Mary.
• The necklace has no religious significance. Someone gave it to her as a gift, and it’s the only necklace she owns.
• The taboo connection between pornography and Christianity adds to the quality of smut, if such a thing is possible.

Anyhow, let’s not get caught up with the necklace too much. Whatever her subliminal intentions may be, she sure knows how to creatively suck cock for half an hour. She even gives us some deep-throat action.

I had the honor of interviewing Susy, whose photo is currently featured on www.supertangas.com. Her recent photo is a self-taken mirror shot showing her body profile wearing black bras and a thong. “My camera isn’t that good–a Sony Powershot that I bought about 3 years ago–so the picture came out kind of blurry,” Susy said. If Susy hadn’t told me that, I would have thought she intentionally blurred it to keep her face anonymous. Girls on Supertangas usually hide their faces by cropping the photos at their necks or wearing sunglasses to cover up. Although they are extremely sexy, they would still like to protect their social reputations. There is a skanky denotation when you upload half naked photos of yourself on the internet. “You wouldn’t want your boyfriend, husband or family members to discover it and gasp, ‘You whore!’” Susy commented. Susy has an amazing body. That’s for sure. A size 0 waist supplemented by a disproportionately large bubble butt. But it looks good on her. Perfectly round fruits on both her chest and hips. However, because her face is blurred, we cannot say much about the beauty of her face. Still, I’m sure that Susy has a pretty face to complement her astonishing Argentinian physique. I asked Susy, “What are the girls like in Argentina? If they’re all fine like you I must take a trip down there.” “I wouldn’t say I’m exceptionally great looking. My body is just average here in Argentina. “So you can see that you’ll find a lot of sexy girls if you visit,” Susy humorously replied. Susy is a graduate student at Universidad de Buenos Aires in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She is studying psychology and will become a divorce counselor when she earns her master’s degree.

We like threesome action when the two girls are both equally sexy. If one girl is substantially better looking than the other one, the uglier one appears as a guy in your spoiled eyes. Also, the guy should be as unobtrusive as possible. If the camera focuses on the guy too much it becomes gay. And we wouldn’t want that, would we? The Couples Seduce Teens series always sets the mood with the two girls sticking their tongues in each others. You guessed it. They tongue each other in every hole. Have a taste of the sweet lips as well as the juicy cunt. They heat up each other’s oven so that the roast beef can go in. These scenes feature an older woman (young enough to possess tight pussy yet old enough to be a MILF) and a teenage girl. The producers for Couples Seduce Teens said to me, “It’s not that hard finding girls. We just go around college campuses and there are so many girls who want easy money that we actually have to reject a lot of them.” The older couple is supposed to “seduce” the teen. But it doesn’t look like much seducing to me. The teen is just as horny and willing as the gruffy biker dude who wants to stick his purple gorging penis into her teenage pussy. For this gallery, a black-haired college teen from Georgia Tech is the victim. The sexy brunette teen’s name is Lindsay and she’s an Information Science major. “After I graduate this semester I’m starting as an assistant librarian at the University of Virginia,” Lindsay said. When Lindsay arrives on that campus the male attendance at the library will surely triple within the first week. Lindsay’s partner for this shoot is a blonde-haired woman who has a close resemblance to Will Ferrell. That’s not too attractive, but she has ostrich egg-sized jugs to make up for her masculine face. The tattooed biker fag joins the orgy at one point once the girls get wet enough. Just imagine if you had two girls sitting on their knees by your side taking turns gagging on your cock? That’s what happens on Couples Seduce Teens. The guy gets the preferential treatment and has two girls at his command. But technically, it’s not couples seducing teens; rather, it’s the wife who seduces the teen and brings her to her master husband. Enjoy this spanking new gallery from Couples Seduce Teens, and if you like it don’t hesitate to support their work and sign up to become a member. Adios.

I’ve been neglectful with the hardcore content for a while. I realized that a guy needs some fucking action every once in a while, and I’ve been filling the pages with too much pussyfutting and no humping action. Beautiful women are great, but the best is when you see her receive some raw loving from a sixteen-inch cock. I really love the Couples Seduce Teens site, because it consistently puts out thematic threesome action with two hot girls and a guy who could be me. It’s called vicarious role playing. I like to imagine that I am the one fucking the two women. And it is possible with Gonzo action shots like this one. Bang for the bang, you know, one on top of the other. Kill two birds with one stone. Two tongues on a cock — double whammy blowjob. I just love it. The newest Couples Seduce Teens episode features a black-haired white girl (obviously dyed and a very slutty feature) who is speechless when the MILF grabs her boobs. Molestation? Rape? No, but it is initial force leading to mutual consent in great sex, and that is what surprise gangbanging is all about. In the end everyone enjoys it and leaves the bed with refreshed minds and happy memories. You have to see it to believe it, but this guy gets the best of both worlds: young fresh pussy AND experienced fucking blowjob action from a MILF.

Remember the last time you saw a naked woman at the pool? She was thousands of kilometers from what you wish you had seen: a chubby housewife (definitely non-MILF) or a saggy-boobed grandma. Many women who strip naked at our private community pool are disgusting. Many of the teenage boys who hang out there agree, and one of them yelled once, “Save your flappy pussy for home, please!” But we would not dare say the same if Stormy Daniels emerged out of the shimmering pool water with her breasts totally exposed. Imagine: Stormy Daniel’s wet golden blonde hair sparkling in the noon sunlight. The glistening water drops are beaded along the perky curves of her boobs, and Stormy lifts her arms and wraps her hands around a handful of her hair to let the light shine over her wet body. Your outdoor pool fantasy comes true at Stormy Daniels’ Penthouse Preview. Exclusively at Penthouse’s website, Stormy Daniels shows off her new surgically improved boobs at a pool water scene.

Marriage has made me a compulsive liar. I used to never lie before I had to deal with a parasitic spouse. Don’t get me wrong — I love my wife very much — but sometimes she gets all up in my asshole, and the easy way out is to lie. An issue that we always argue about is my relationship with all the women out there in the world minus my wife. The wifey gets the highest priority — no question about it. But sometimes she is still not satisfied with being number one. By common sense, we would think that if there is a #1, there are always numerous other rankings that follow it. And sometimes that fact is too difficult for my wife to accept. “It’s really screwed up that you’re the only one I love, but you like other girls besides me,” my wife frequently says. But what can I do, you know? I’m a man and that’s what we do. I used to tell her about all of my “sexcapades” with the girlfriends that I met and the mistresses that I occasionally kept on the side. But you come to discover that honesty is not always the best policy. Today my wife freaked because she scavenged photos of two of my girlfriends from my hard drive. Silly me, I forgot to lock the folder. Search for Jen and Trish on Newbie Nudes, which is where I originally hooked up with them. Both of them regularly upload their amateur nude photos on that free social networking portal.

This Texas chick has the goods — her gorgeous full breasts drip of milk and honey — but she has the look of someone who had cum squirted on her face in total surprise. She looks pissed. How can one figure out the meaning of that expression? I’m sorry, Susi, but just look away from the camera. It’s better that way — for the benefit of you and all your viewers. Susi from Rockwall, Texas sells her body for loads of cash for MC Nudes. She’s 23 years old and has a full-time job of shaking up cocktails and showing her boobs for scruffy Texas men at Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar. MC Nudes specializes in softcore porn, featuring photo and video galleries of amateur solo teens. Although it is an amateur model site, MC Nudes is unique because of its high definition photos and videos. I’ve never seen another amateur site distinguished by such high resolution samples and great cameraman-ship. My great compelling question after meeting Susi and watching one of her shoots is, “Can a sexy body that pops boners through jeans cancel out an ugly or mediocre face?” Seriously, Susi looks like a farm girl, and not even a hot one at that. Maybe she would have turned out normal if her biological mother were not also her first cousin. Susi is one of those girls that make you excited and sweaty when you see her from the back, but when she turns around… You slowly unstick your eyes and turn the other way and say, “Oh… damn… nevermind.” But there are some guys who jestfully say, “Ah, fuck, I’d just poke some holes in a paper bag and cover her head while I bang her.”