I have to travel eight hours by plane to celebrate my favorite holiday: Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras beats Christmas, Easter, Midsummer’s Eve, and even Valentine’s Day — when my wife and I plan an exciting day full of lovemaking — because Mardi Gras is all about hardcore sex and becoming intoxicated so that we can fuck some more. Mardi Gras is fucking without a conscience. Let me, as an experienced and time-hardened Mardi Gras party boy, offer you some tips so that you won’t leave New Orleans without having dipped into at least one girl. First of all, sociologists state that during Mardi Gras “behaviors are permitted that are normally considered socially inappropriate.” With this type of atmosphere, even prude chicks are willing. Paradise come true? You got it. A researcher labeled people’s behavior during Mardi Gras as playful deviance.” According to Redmond, “playful deviance occurs most frequently when groups of tourists travel to leisure locations and engage in types of behaviors that they would not normally enact at home.” So how does this information help men? There are 3 conditions that must be met for “playful deviance” to occur. By fulfilling these 3 terms you can have sex with any chick you want on the spot.

1. Party setting where the behavior is appropriate
2. Willful choice to participate (get her drunk)
3. No one present who may look down upon the action

Remember that what goes on during Mardi Gras does not demote your character. It is a day to be as devilish and horny as you want, and no one will say anything about it. According to research, here are your odds of banging a chick at Mardi Gras:

• More men (45%) than women (14%) report that they had expect to have oral sex with someone they meet
• More men (42%) report intending to have vaginal sex with someone they meet than do women (12%)
• 19% of men and 5% of women report expecting to engage in anal sex with someone they meet
• one fifth of participants (16%, n = 49) reported engaging in oral sex with someone they met at Mardi Gras
• About one third (32%, n = 95) reported engaging in vaginal sex with someone they met at Mardi Gras.
• Six percent (n= 16) reported engaging in anal sex with someone they met at Mardi Gras
• 63% of the women (n = 75) reported having at least 5 or 6 drinks per sitting at Mardi Gras
• Over one third (37%, n = 102) indicated they were “always” drinking before “fooling around” in a sexual way with people

In case you are unfamiliar with Mardi Gras and now want to go, here’s what you can expect:

• Noise levels reaching 90 decibels
• Strong smell of beer and alcohol
• Public nudity, including wet t-shirt contests and drunk girls flashing their boobs
• Public sex acts — I participate in many of these, where three girls are simultaneously sucking and licking my cock, or where I team up with another stud to fuck a college chick from Tulane University in both holes
• Colorful decorations and streets littered with beer bottles and more bottles

The following is a summary and short history of Mardi Gras:

Mardi Gras is an annual festival in New Orleans that begins 47 days before Easter and ends the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday (Gotham, 2002; Sexton, 1999). Its roots are grounded in French culture, as early explorers brought the tradition of Mardi Gras with them to Louisiana (Gotham; Sexton, 1999). The French originated the nowfamous masked balls and parties in the early 1700s; however, by the late 1700s, Spanish governors banned these festivities (Gotham). Mardi Gras celebrations returned to the city by the early 1800s, and in order to preserve the festivities, a secret society of men called the Mystic Krewe of Comus planned the first official Mardi Gras parade in 1857.

Works Cited Robin R Milhausen, Michael Reece, Bilesha Perera. “A Theory-Based Approach to Understanding Sexual Behavior at Mardi Gras. ” The Journal of Sex Research 43.2 (2006): 97-106. Research Library Core. ProQuest. 28 Dec. 2006 http://www.proquest.com/

I already posted a bathroom-related entry today, but we cannot ignore the Italian beauty that I am about to tell you about. If you haven’t heard about this internet phenomenon already, you are really missing out: Supertangas. A Supertanga is a faceless, anonymous girl who submits a photo or a video of herself to www.supertangas.com. These natural beauties come from all around the world, from Argentina to Yugoslavia. I don’t know if the Supertangas are paid for their submissions, but most of them look fifteen times better than the mainstream porn stars, because they are for real. Everyday girls we see on the streets. Unfortunately all of the content on that blog is softcore. Ele is an Italian Supertanga who I posted about last month. Her stripping video is uploaded on Youtube and has a wide following. Ele has a second video which I just finished viewing, and all I can say is “Hot Damn.” She first strips out of her tank top and mini skirt, and then teases the camera in her g string. Then the scene switches over to Ele in the bubbly jacuzzi. She spends this time showing off her perfectly juicy ass. Ele even has a sense of humor; she does a cute magic trick by making her g string instantaneously disappear after a quick dip in the bubbles. She concludes by lathering her boobs with bubbly foam and we have a quick glimpse of Ele’s perky nipples. My only qualm is Ele’s hiding her face, but I am sure that her profile is just as beautiful as her god-given body.

If there is an imperfection to sex at all, it would be the filth. Cum on the new sheets. Sweat and semen smothered over the black leather couch. Drops of blood on the chains, whatever. But many of us know how to cheat and get around all of the dirtiness involved with sex. The answer is bathroom or shower sex. Here is a short guide on how to have memorable sex in the shower that you will never forget, so that you too can join the newfound revolution of having sex in the shower.

1. Your girlfriend or fuck partner should look like Jamie Lynn or at least similarly sexy when wet.
2. Turn on the shower and blast it cold. Go under the water — both of you — and watch her nipples harden into perfect little cherries. Suck and nibble as you wish.
3. Now change the water temperature to hot. As it becomes steamy, ask the girlfriend to lean her elbows on the shower wall while sticking out her ass towards you. This Supertanga gives a good demonstration of this position. Penetrate and have fun.
4. Using cream for shower sex is very interesting too. Turn off the water for a while and lather her up with edible cream. What a delicious treat.

I participate in porno shoots every now and then, just for fun. There are many opportunities to get involved in the adult industry in Norway, not to mention Europe in the whole. With one train ride there are hundreds of adult studios that pay many good Euros for your fucking action. One particular rule of thumb for nearly all shoots is that you must be free of all hair in the genital area. That goes for both males and females. Unless you are filming for the hairy pussy fetish niche, you should be bald down there. So once again, this morning I visited a nail spa in Oslo for a Brazilian Bikini Wax.

Brazilian waxing is a type of waxing involving the bikini area. This procedure involves the complete removal of hair from the buttocks and adjacent to the anus, perineum and vulva (labia majora and mons pubis). It can be thought of as a more thorough form of bikini waxing.

The regular girl who I go to for the Brazilian Waxing is gentle and very competent at what she does. As a guy, I feel uncomfortable in the feminine spa environment. But she is professional, humorous, and makes me feel at ease. Her name is Torhild and you can find her at Ren Spa in Oslo, Norway. For this procedure, one strips from the waist down and lays down on a sanitized waxing table. Torhild starts with the pubic hair below the navel. She applies hot dripping wax on the hair, and then with waxing paper she methodically yanks the hair free from their roots. The regions that hurts the most are under the navel and the scrotum. Individual pores sometime break out in bleeding in these areas. Think about it, it makes sense since pubic hairs are rooted so deeply in our skin. Meanwhile, contrary to my logic, the base of the penis, the chode and the ass crack are the least painful. Waxing is extremely painful the first time around, but after a few experiences the hair pulls out without too much pain. For the most part, during the waxing I develop a crazy erection. As a straight male, I cannot help but become aroused when a woman fondles my penis and testicles, although it is part of her job. Torhild may get mad at me for publicly stating this, but she boldly grabs my penis while asking me to stretch out my scrotum. The more taut the skin is, the less painful it is when it is waxed. I love having her soft, lovely hands holding my foreskin, and it is a great incentive for male customers to come for this service. Also, after the waxing is complete, she applies oil to the whole area to remove the excess wax. This part pretty much feels like a handjob, because she lubricates my cock and my balls and then rubs her warm hands all over for several minutes. My pre-cum sometimes drips out and then gets sticky all over Torhild’s fingers. As you may have noticed, all of the porn stars and models do not have any pubic hair. There is more work behind the scenes of pornography than you would expect. To maintain that appearance, they must visit a waxing service at least twice a month. And it comes with a heavy price tag. For a guy, Ren Spa charges about $65 US Dollars for a full Brazilian Waxing. Click here if you want to see a beautiful girl who just had her Brazilian Bikini Waxing and is smoothly clean around her pussy. You can really tell the difference, huh.

I don’t want to be Mr. Obvious here, but the capabilities of modern technology are just too amazing. Did you know that you can now carry your own High Definition porn theater in your pocket? If you own an iPod, your wife’s worst nightmare may have just come true. No longer can your wife monitor your porn viewing habits in the house. You can fulfill your daily quota in the bathroom, the office, the subway, or even during a quiet stroll in the park. All the advantages without appearing conspicuous. Who would guess that your cute little iPod is filled with porn? With the recent boom of the iPod in the music player market, porn providers have adjusted their services so that their subscribers can easily upload their porn videos onto the mp3 player. Your horniest dream is just a click away. MCN, also known as mc-nudes.com, specializes in video clips created specifically for the iPod. Click here to view sample content from MC Nudes, featuring sexy glamour girls who strip down all the way. With this girl Lea, we can see her outer pussy lips in her model photos. On the public bus the other day, I saw three teenage boys in the seats in front of me milling around an iPod. What could be so exciting to them that they would waste so much attention over a commonplace gadget? While passing them on my way out, it turns out that — on that tiny screen — there was a vivid scene of a man fucking a pigtailed girl in doggy-style. One of the boys caught my staring. “Fuck off mang,” he mumbled and gave me the finger. Too bad that for the sake of their own pure minds I could not tell them that I create those iPod porn videos to which they whack off. Your favorite porn blog is also two steps away in your cell phones and PDA’s. Just click the internet button on your cell phone and access http://ozzlefung.com for your much needed enlightenment in everyday pornography and smut.

The most refreshing feeling ever is to fuck another woman after fighting with your wife or girlfriend. This immoral action that we take feels like delicious revenge towards our own girls. As we fuck we mutter, “There, bitch, take that!” and feel a cool, flooding sense of peace. The stress and animosity from the conflict is converted into the force that we exert into fucking this other female, making the sex so much better. This practice of adultery increases one’s wellbeing by functioning as a phenomenal method of stress relief. Every once in a while my best buddy and I get together in a leased apartment to have gangbang fuck sessions with local women. We have a thick notebook filled with names and numbers of bored stay-at-home mothers who would gladly have sex with us for some extra cash. Our wives have no clue that this is where we chill when the situation at home is heated. They must think that we are brooding over the argument. In reality, I am not even thinking about the fight, but instead I am having a great fuck with a sexy, willing slut. Click here for pictures of Tatiana, a blonde Ukranian devil who sleeps with other women’s husbands.

The Gothic culture has not caught on in Norway yet. I don’t know if it will ever, because we Norwegians are a bright and happy bunch. But during my time in America I saw plenty of dark-minded, suicidal girls at the clubs. I was about to make love to a girl like this once when she asked to trade vials of each other’s arterial blood. I asked, “What the hell’s you gonna do with my bloods?” “We’ll drink it and become spiritually connected,” she replied. At that point I packed up my Scandinavian penis and went bye-bye. No ordinary pussy is worth a blood donation. Here’s a gothic babe for you in a fishnet shirt. I don’t know what Alektra does on her own time, but she loves to wrap her juicy lips around dicks. Click here to watch Alektra brush her teeth with a pound of cock.

This topic may seem out of place for this blog, but three weeks ago during a short business trip to Berlin I fucked a lady who wanted to use ropes and chains. The experience was surprisingly fresh and psychologically thrilling. I expected my penis to go limp at the sight of such scary tools, but her revealing black leather and gothic makeup made me so horny, that I really was willing submit to her. Who would have thought that I would actually stoop down like a dog to a woman, madly drooling for sex and whippings? The German chick was truly one of those “women who are normal outside but naughty inside.” Here is a short definition of S&M from the lesbian Kathy Belge:

S/M stands for Sadism and Masochism. Some prefer the term BDSM or Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission. Women who enjoy BDSM find that combining pleasure and pain turns them on. S/M is not abuse. It is consensual activity between willing partners. BDSM is a way for some women to gain power by pushing their limits. Some examples of S/M are: spanking, bondage, whipping, acting out scenes and attending sex parties.

Japan Times‘s Yumi Wijers-Hasegawa wrote an article about classified personal ads which led to her encounter with a bondage-obsessed French man. Yumi states that “every week in Japan, English-language magazines carry upward of 200 classified ads placed by both Japanese and non-Japanese people seeking to meet strangers whom they hope to strike up a relationship with.” I see ads like these in my local newspaper all the time but I doubted that readers would actually pursue them with interest. The people who put themselves on there either seem ugly, old and desperate, or too cocky for their own good. A casual reader can find entertainment by skimming over the blatant requests for “spanking, bondage and group sex” aside from the “plenty craving true love.” As part of her experiment, Yumi deliberately replied to the following personal ad with the hope of discovering who these people are:

European master is ready to teach you about submission. Don’t be shy, take the first step and you will never regret it

After an awkward arranged rendezvous, Yumi found out that “he had posted 20 ads and trained about 10 women aged from 22 to 45 ‘to a level where they would do anything.’” The girls are literally his bitches, but in a respectful way. He is the revered sensei and his group of S/M students are innocent naked concubines who willingly wrap their wrists in chains. According to the French bondage freak, he described submission as an art form: “It’s not just sex, it’s also the mind. It can also be about pain.” Yumi reports that “he said he especially likes to meet people who are unsure whether they are submissive or not, as he can push them to understand themselves and discover how far they can go.” I think that every man needs to try bondage and submission at least once in their lifetime. I now have my wife hooked on it now. If your own wife or girlfriend loathes the idea, you can always try it with a willing hooker.

Works Cited

Yumi Wijers-Hasegawa. “Japan Times, Tokyo, WEEK 3 column: What, and who, lies behind those beguiling personal ads? ” Knight Ridder Tribune Business News 17 December 2006 1. ABI/INFORM Dateline. ProQuest. 28 Dec. 2006 http://www.proquest.com/

I heard that the Hispanic ass is a badonkadonk. Linda from Ecuador is 46 yet she still flaunts her curvaceous body that is muy lickable. At Milf Seekers, the crew of two white guys pound Linda from all sorts of positions and find out that Linda, being as experienced as she is, can take their moves and more. Step down, little boys. A definition of “badonkadonk” from urbandictionary.com:

An ebonic expression for an extremely curvaceous female behind. Women who possess this feature usually have a small waist that violently explodes into a round and juicy posterior (e.g., 34c, 24, 38). Other characteristics would be moderately wide hips and a large amount of booty cleavage (i.e, depth of butt-crack).

Lawrence Finer, the Director of Domestic Research at the Guttmacher Institute, claims that “premarital sex is normal behavior for the vast majority of Americans, and has been for decades.” He supports himself with the appalling fact that “more than nine out of 10 Americans, men and women alike, have had premarital sex.” Premarital sex refers to the practice where an unmarried couple has sex with mutual consent — the dirtier word used in the church for this is fornication. As opposed to rape, this practice occurs with the agreement of both partners without a marriage commitment, and it is the ultimate expression of the irresistible nature of sex. Were you under the impression that premarital sex only happened in the movies? You know, where a guy and a girl meet in a completely random place and end up sleeping with each other that very night? Well, you were completely mistaken, because we all need some sexual action. And one cannot wait until marriage to attain the erotic fruit. Pre-marital sex is preferred, having sex with many different subjects before being tied down by domestic faithfulness.

The study, examining how sexual behavior before marriage has changed over time, was based on interviews conducted with more than 38,000 people – about 33,000 of them women – in 1982, 1988, 1995 and 2002 for the federal National Survey of Family Growth. According to Finer’s analysis, 99 percent of the respondents had had sex by age 44, and 95 percent had done so before marriage.

However, this is not a recent phenomenon, as if contemporary people are hornier now than ever before. Americans and the human race have not morally deteriorated over the past few decades on the grounds of sex. On the contrary, following human nature for mad fucking anytime-anywhere, “the high rates extend even to women born in the 1940s, challenging perceptions that people were more chaste in the past” and “the study found women virtually as likely as men to engage in premarital sex, even those born decades ago.” What Finer forgets to examine is why people choose to have pre-marital sex. At Ozzlefung we provide the answer with this gallery of Erica Ellyson at Penthouse. Hot bitches like these make abstinence impossible to achieve.

Works Cited THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. “Sex before marriage is U.S. norm, study says :[Third Edition]. ” St. Louis Post – Dispatch [St. Louis, Mo.] 20 Dec. 2006,A.16. National Newspapers (27). ProQuest. 22 Dec. 2006 http://www.proquest.com/